Life Rules: Are we really a man’s responsibility?

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Today was a beautiful morning. The sunshine was bright, the morning breeze was light and cool and I had a good breakfast with my friends. Coming back to my hostel room, me and my roommates who are my best buddies here sat down on the stairs for a little chitchat. What followed next to giggles and gossip was some dose of serious questions. One of my pals was angry over the fact that girls nowadays are just being miserable and sad by themselves. She thought some of them were self pitiful and spineless on some of the matters which are relevant. Don’t get her wrong. I supported her view saying that it is sad how a woman is a woman’s worst enemy when they need to be in harmony. The point of debate was when we had two different views on a picture that she saw on facebook. It was of a girl standing with a board in her hands saying “A woman alone is not a man’s opportunity but his responsibility.” She argued that she denied this because she thought the quote was wrong. A woman is not a man’s responsibility and should never be. She should be herself responsible for what is going on with her. To be honest I disagreed with her point straightaway. My point was that in our male dominated hypocrite society, women are disgraced and even if a woman is educated and independent, the society doesn’t treat her like that. I am not generalizing the fact on all men but majority men in our country view women as mere objects and treat them as sexual objects for their own mean needs. That is totally wrong. On the top of it I argued that the quote written was a very tiny one which projected a man’s responsibility, not the woman’s. My friend stated that still if a woman is independent why shouldn’t take her own responsibility and raise her voice on suffering through any harassment. After all if she doesn’t, we as women cannot expect the society to change overnight for our future generations who will continue to bear the weight themselves. I truly agreed on that one but added that for a woman who is even highly educated and liberal, taking a stand is difficult because she weighs the consequences in her mind. She just doesn’t think about herself, but her parents, her siblings, her partner. That is the reason why she doesn’t come out with a strong voice because she fears negative consequences on the people she loves and cares about. Also a man being responsible in that statement did not just imply that he should protect a woman; but that If a woman was alone, he had no right to see it as an opportunity to exploit his physical strength on her and on the contrary should just leave her alone and concentrate on his own business. Even though I am not a feminist in any sense, but my view is that why is it so difficult for a man to do just that much. The thing expected out of them is not a big deal; it’s the matter of being sober and live in harmony. So why all the violence and chaos? Isn’t life easier for them also if they lived it in a more sophisticated manner? But the sad truth is violence is seen as a mark of manhood; a symbol of strength and dominance a man has on a woman. I completely agree and support on my friend’s strong approach that a woman is not a responsibility of man; but of her own self, the citizens’ and the society’s. Raising a voice though unheard and negated is important because it brings change. She emphasized that the first woman to wear a colored cloth being a widow must have been through hell, but she did it not for herself but for her future generations to not go through the same thing. That is the reason we need not follow such archaic rules anymore. How more correct can that point be? I am sure almost 9 out of 10 women are harassed in some form or the other everyday. But the more we remain silent, the more we will become unheard. So it is important to rise up, raise voices when something wrong is being done to you just because you are vulnerable as a woman; because it is not about equality but about equity. Women empowerment is something that is internal to us as women. We choose it not anyone else. Because we take our decisions and we should be the decision makers for ourselves no matter how hard it is. Our bodies are not our liabilities, but assets. Every woman is powerful in her own way. Women are better decision makers and can go miles if they will to. Hence rise up ladies. You are awesome in your way. Never stay silent. We can be as strong when we fight as we are when we love and care. Be awesome. Be strong. Be YOU.

XOXO,

Shwetz

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